Loving, Being Loved, Worship, & Protecting the Wine {part 3} | Julie Arndt

In part 1 of this series, I shared what God has been showing me about love and how loving is a form of worship. In part 2, I shared some practical life experiences dealing with this subject. The last part of this series is all about protecting the wine.

PROTECTING THE WINE

If our created purpose in life is to love and be loved, doesn’t it make sense that the enemy would do everything he could to disrupt that in our lives? So what are you going to do about it? Some of his tactics are really obvious, but others can be pretty sneaky! Learning to recognize those things that distract you from loving connections is a learning curve, but absolutely worth going after.

There appear to be two kinds of tactics. The first is (believe it or not) the more obvious one, in my opinion. Oh, it can seem sneaky enough at the time, but with some practice, it becomes a lot easier to spot! It starts with offense in the hopes to lead you to bitterness, resentment, distrust, etc. It whispers things in your ear like, “He did that on purpose!” or, “She doesn’t even appreciate how hard I have to work.” or, “They don’t even care.” When you ask the Lord to see that person through His eyes, if what you are hearing is not within their character… Bam! You see the lie right out there in full daylight. You can know, for sure, that it is spiritual opposition trying to walk you in the opposite direction of love. Stand against it. Usually it will go away by simply coming out of agreement with those thoughts and nailing them to the cross where they belong! Oh – and don’t forget to forgive. This is really key to keeping short accounts with others and allowing the conduit of love to remain unobstructed.

The other tactic is not so easy to spot, and this is the one the Lord has really been speaking to me about lately. This tactic can be so subtle, it’s hard to read as a tactic. Usually, it doesn’t even come with “negative” feelings, so it will sometimes sneak into your life without you even realizing it, until you suddenly find yourself in a different place than you wanted to be; the place of complacency. It’s also worth noting, the complacency tactic is often used to try to break down every meaningful relationship you have… spouses, family, friends, churches, and of course, God!

Matt and I recently went to a “Love After Marriage” workshop. During the whole week of being gone, we spent significant time connecting with each other, as well as other Christian couples, encouraging one another to grow in our relationships. We never even turned the TV on in our hotel room. Each night, after the workshop, Matt and I talked and shared, bonding in ways like never before. Every day we could feel ourselves walking closer to love; living a lifestyle of love. The more connected we became, the happier we were. We could sense the “presence” of the other, truly having our spirits unite as one. This continued when we came home… until we turned on the TV. The first night we spent watching TV “together,” we realized something had happened over the course of the evening that made us feel less connected. Now, I’m not going to blame TV for that, but what we realized was that we had so easily slumped back into an old mindset that allowed us to use TV to “clear our minds.” The problem was that there were a lot of good things going around in our heads too! Leaving the “reality” of our life, even for a couple of hours, was enough to diminish our desire to be connected. Somehow, our energy for enjoying each other became redirected to the TV. Intimacy felt less intimate, thus the motivation to be intimate was diminished somewhat.

Thankfully, we had already experienced something greater, so that our spirits recognized the negative shift. (Remember, our spirits crave deep, loving connections.) But I can tell you, had we not been sensitive to that, it would have been very easy to fall back into old habits that did not support our desire for having an intimate connection. After talking through this, we are more intentional to protect our atmosphere from things that walk us in the opposite direction of connected relationships. We didn’t give up TV… we just have to approach it with the right priority and mindset. We need to think about it as a time of sharing the same experience instead of it being a time to sit in a mindless stupor. Even if we watch TV apart from each other, it’s not about what we are doing, but how and why we are doing it.

We have begun to approach all things with this question, “How will this affect my important relationships?” Things that are important are worth protecting. Does it take time? Yep. Is it more work? You bet. Is it worth it? Absolutely!

Matt 9:17 says “Neither do people pour new wine into old wineskins. If they do, the skins will burst; the wine will run out and the wineskins will be ruined. No, they pour new wine into new wineskins, and both are preserved.” Our love is the new wine. We need a wineskin that will hold the new wine. Not everything will need to change. But we need to care for and steward the thing that is most important. Our love is what is most important… it is eternal. (Don’t worry… I know we won’t be married in heaven, but I’m sure we will still LOVE each other!!)

What are the things you allow into your atmosphere that propel you toward love? What are the things that get in your way of connected, meaningful relationships?

Jesus, thank you for loving us first so that we can love!! Holy Spirit, we ask that you give us grace to walk in love. Stir our hearts to do the things that are healthy for our important relationships. And show us those things that try to trap us into offense or lure us into complacency. Teach us how to value and protect the wine! We want to love like You. Not just because it is the right response, but because there is so much joy and satisfaction in living as we were created to live.